Former columnist for the Los Angeles Post Examiner, the Baltimore Post Examiner, and Gatehouse News Service

Friday, July 29, 2011

Housework is My Work...Finally

Okay, so you know how you start a new activity, or hobby, or sport, and you go through a sort of "honeymoon phase", where all you do is that thing? Well, I have been caught up in a phase with my new horse Nello.  And while I have been having a ball being a cowgirl out at the barn where I keep him - trail-riding, training him in the ring, giving him baths, caring for him, hanging with my like-minded horsie-friends, well....my house is falling apart.  It really is.

The first clue was when a plastic plant died.  The second clue was when guests opted for "jiggling around" instead of using our guest bathroom; I guess it has been awhile since I cleaned in there.  The third clue was when I bemoaned the dark stormclouds and bad weather we keep having, only to hear that it's been sunny every single day - my windows are just grey with dirt and dust.  The honeymoon has to end, and quick!

My only job right now is to keep this place humming.  It is not humming...it's coughing, or gagging.  I have to shape up!

Today is the day.  I am going to get on my housedress (see photo), get out the cleaning bucket, turn on the hot water, and get to work!  I may do some laundry too - my husband is perpetually hunched over in our room, looking through baskets muttering, "So are these clean, or what?"  (The only reason I can have this honeymoon phase, by the way, is that he totally understands it - he is addicted to golf.  We've lost him for days, too.)  Even his calm nature has it's tipping point, though - he wasn't buying my claim that "breakfast for dinner" is a happenin' new trend - at least not when it's cereal.  Old cereal.

So Nello, my friend, today is not going to happen for us.  I must grow up, and find that balance in my life that I am constantly seeking, and am now pretty doubtful about ever attaining.  But it's been real, boy.  (Psst: hey, it's okay, don't worry; maybe I'll sneak out tonight to see you!)

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

One Good Question for A Few Good Men

                                                                                   10:02 PM:  
Just relaxing tonight, watching a re-run of one of my favorite films, "A Few Good Men," and I have a question, and it is burning a hole in my brain, itching to be answered.  The question is not whether the common citizen understands military jurisprudence with all it's formalities, or whether or not relations with Cuba are as strained as they were at the time of this story.  My question is furthermore and heretofore also not what happens when a talented young man tries to live up to the legend his dead father became when he was alive, as Tom Cruise's character struggles with as he tries to find justice for the two enlisted men accused of murder and "Code Red-ing" a fellow enlisted man.

My question is this: what the heck hairstyle did Demi Moore have, exactly, in this film?  It looks like a "DA," a term popuar in the 1950's (and way before my time, by the way) that stood for, well, "duck's ass."  Is it a DA that she's sporting, or a 40's-style chignon, or what???  I need to know, now! 

This blog is dismissed, and will re-convene here tomorrow.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Amy Winehouse - Rehab



I would have loved to hear more...
Facebook and Google, it's a shame we have to endure a banner ad during this video; can we stop the ads for even one minute?? Money, money, money.  Go to Money Rehab.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Lucky to Have a Break, Yet Still Complaining...

Okay, quick post while I am near a computer...we are at the Jersey shore, and it is approximately 95,000,000 degrees here.  I just slid off a micro-suede couch due to sweaty legs.  My sunglasses fall off every time I bend over to pick up a discarded beach towel due to Sweaty Nose Syndrome.  We are all making excuses to go to our rooms in our rental, because they have AC. ("Hey, Hon, I'll just be in here for a few...I'd love to get another look at that caulking job the owners did on these windows!")

The ocean is absolutely stunningly beautiful - sparkly with small whitecaps, and today, everyone is in - old folks, kids, lifeguards, sea urchins, etc.  I was trying to read, but the words were blurring from sweat - a Civil War book may be too heavy of a choice - I keep getting befuddled by which side is Union, which is Confederate - that's how hot it is; can't remember simple Civil War terminology.  Should have chosen a cheesy romance.  The kids keep trying to play paddleball, only to groan when they miss one, and have to move two inches to retrieve the ball.

Tonight we are going to the boardwalk, where we can slump on benches and try to keep up with our melting ice creams.  God bless every single one of you who is working in this heat - so important to hydrate, hydrate, hydrate!  And check on the elderly neighbors - and the Reillys - if you are down at Cape May Point, NJ.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

"Horrible Bosses" A Horrible Role for Jennifer Aniston

Well, my husband and I just got back from the movies, and I wish we had seen the new Winnie the Pooh or even Transformers 3 again - Horrible Bosses just made me sad.  It made me sad for two reasons:

1.  Jennifer Aniston is a good girl, whether she likes it or not.  To hear sentence after sentence of bad, sleazy dialogue coming from "Rachel" made me feel bad for her, bad for me, and bad for her fans.  She was unconvincing and dreary and, as always, beautiful.  But sadly lacking; mostly in project-choice here.

2.  Similar to "Superbad", "The Hangover" and other films of this new "crude-com" genre, the laughs in "Horrible Bosses" rely on male idiocy (which is funny, when it's done well), and crass, shocking dialogue.  So shocking (and usually involving body parts and animals or women) that after the joke, your brain goes, "Hey, wait...that is just sick!"  And that's if you are a guy.  I was just offended/bored by most of the crude comedy in both - and found parts of both riotously funny. But not funny enough to recommend, or see again.

I am not a prude, and I feel like I know humor, and comedy, and I think we just might be losing the art form.  Jennifer Anniston, you know funny, too - go back to it - and keep your clothes on!

Same Time Next Year - the answer is YES!


Now THIS is a movie. "Same Time Next Year."

Monday, July 11, 2011

America is Flat Broke!

After listening to both sides of the continuing budget debates, I am convinced that Speaker of the House John Boehner needs to hold tough with the President and not concede to a budget agreement that includes raising taxes.
America is going broke, and without big businesses being healthy, we are going to fall into an even more serious decline.  I am baffled as to why this is not a no-brainer for the hard-line Democrats.  Have we ever known a prosperous America without big business?  Could we possibly be where we are without the formation and survival of our successful corporations? A big business cannot be healthy burdened with crushing taxes.  Some people are richer than others, and some fall through the cracks.  Life is not fair, and taxes won't help.  We need creative solutions combined with tried-and-true values.

(Idea: Why not urge corporations to "adopt" more social needs, instead of taxing people to death to cure all that ails us - which has never worked anyway, in all our history?  Every inch we make through government help demands more government employees, more paperwork, more red tape.  Businesses make change and grow programs efficiently all the time...can we incentivise them to help starving American children, help save farms, build effective shelters and drug rehabs?)

Anyway, the President is saying that he is taking some risks in conceding to the Republicans in order to get a budget deal done by early August.  Well, heavy is the head that wears the crown, sir - you don't get points for upsetting people in your party - that's a given, if you are doing the job right.

Stay strong, Mr. Speaker!  Get this budget deal done right!  We need jobs, and we need them NOW.  Breadlines may be all the rage again if you don't.

Monday, July 4, 2011

Happy 4th!

I hope the 4th is a wonderful day for all who love this country, and celebrate it's uniqueness, it's freedoms, and it's foundation.  In America you are free to decide your own fate, you can vote without being shot at or intimidated, if you are sick or in need you can find someone to shelter or care for you.  It is one of the most beautiful places on Earth, and was started by the blood, sweat, and tears of amazing men and women.

Do we have problems? Yes, we do.  Do we need to protect what is special about America?  Yes.  Our credit rating is in jeopardy, many are without work and more importantly hope, our systems fail sometimes.  We have increasing crime and poverty.  Our moral compass seems to have a broken needle a lot of the time.

But we celebrate the good things, the right things, the true things - this country and how blessed we are.