Former columnist for the Los Angeles Post Examiner, the Baltimore Post Examiner, and Gatehouse News Service

Monday, February 21, 2011

Are My Words Coming Out Right?

Like many people, I felt horrible for the television reporter who had a "complex migraine" while reporting from the Grammy awards, and ended up talking non-sensically, while looking amazingly normal.  It looked like she was having a stroke, and your heart went out to her.  (Your heart also went out to people who had to listen to some of that music at the Grammys; really, Gwenyth?  They should all just be Mick Jagger; he is amazing.  I hear it's his macrobiotic diet.  Or his perennial bachelorhood.)

A few days later I was in attendance when a guest speaker suddenly went blank, struggling to find the word "adventure."  We in the audience were leaning forward just willing him to say it - "come on Mister, adventure, you went on an adventure..." you could feel everyone thinking.  Luckily he was okay as well.

So, in what is pretty normal for me, I am now afraid that this will happen to me, at work, at home, or while I'm on the phone.  Sitting in a Ninety-Nine restaurant, I said to my husband, "Oh my gosh, I'm like the reporter; I want a..." I started mimicking drinking froma very large glass.  "You want a coke," he interpreted.  "Yes!" I squealed, pointing at him.  "I couldn't remember what you call it - what does that mean?"

It means one of these things - menopause, exhaustion, or extreme suggestibility...I am going for the third one (although it could be any of them, really.)

So...if this does ever happen to you, call an ambulance if you can't get over it pretty darn quickly.  Also if you have numbness, tingling, or cannot make your face smile.  It could be a stroke.  But if you are watching the Grammys, it could just be Lady Gaga arriving in her fantabulous egg.  Barf.