Former columnist for the Los Angeles Post Examiner, the Baltimore Post Examiner, and Gatehouse News Service

Monday, March 25, 2013

Hockey Hockey Hockey

To the left is a tee shirt belonging to my son James -- I love this tee shirt, and I aways smile when folding it. (He is, at 14, too old to wear it now, I think, but occaisionally he sleeps in it.) This little stick figure is saying something that every hockey player says at least a few times a week, when friends ask if they are free for a movie, a walk downtown, or to just hang out. Hockey kids always have hockey. It is a sport that takes over your life (player and family).

With this season almost over, I thought I'd share a funny essay I found on the web about hockey. Parents...you get it!! (courtesy of www.hockeysource.com).


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You Know You're An Avid Hockey Fan If.......
  • Your idea of serving breakfast is giving each of your kids a fork and dropping an Eggo in the middle of the table.
  • You reprimand your children with "minors," "majors" and "misconducts."
  • When you come to a traffic signal and the light turns green, you stop.
  • When you come to a traffic signal and the light turns red, you get really excited and chant, "He shoots! He scores!"
  • Instead of duct tape, you use hockey tape to fix everything.
  • You call a trip to the Hockey Hall of Fame a "pilgrimage."
  • You went into a bank because it advertised "Free Checking"....and walked out disappointed.
  • You can pronounce anything in French, yet you have no idea what it means.
  • Every time you hear a siren you wonder who scored.
  • You're not allowed to play chess simply because the first time you played, you misunderstood the meaning of the word "Check."
  • Everything in your wardrobe is your team's colors.
  • Your closet is divided into 2 sections: HOME and AWAY
  • You make biscuits in dimensions of 3" by 1."
  • You burn the biscuits black.
  • You play a game with one of the biscuits.
  • You deck the guy who says, "Check, please."
  • You own a Zamboni.
  • You keep your Zamboni in the garage while your main car stays in the driveway.
  • Your calendar only runs from October to June.
  • You wonder how you will get through July, August, and September.
  • When someone says, "two minutes" you respond, "What for!?!"

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